Christ Follower, NOT a christian

My 16 year old son ran across a post in a Yahoo forums with hate quotes made by what they called “real” christians bashing gay groups. And it ticked him off..frankly, it ticked me off too. One of my best friends from High School is gay. And you know what..I totally accept him. OH, did I mention I’m a Christ Follower..What?

You know, what you and I choose to do or how we live our lives does not define us. I am defined by who I am in Him, not my past, my present or by what I choose to do with my life. The things I do on a day to day basis may surprise you. They are definitely “outside the box” of  your norm. My husband described me as “non-moldable” At least from society standards, anyway. And in some christian communities, I am also shunned for my passion.

Why do I say I’m not a christian? Because the bad name that “Christians” have made for them selves. They bash others, kill those that “fall from grace” and shun those they deem unacceptable. They don’t want to be labeled with scandal or malice. They treat it like a contagious disease that needs to be stamped out. You know who your true friends are when trouble and difficulty comes. Those that truly love you will stand by you no matter if they agree with you or not. They may say something, but those that truly portray the REAL Christ, will not shun you or reject you.

No one is without sin. And sin is sin, doesn’t matter what they did or are doing, they are forgiven by Christ, who died on the cross for that sin so that we might live and not be bound to death by the law of the old testament.

I have known Christ since I was 3..possibly younger. He found me, not I found Him. My parents were not christians and didn’t really walk a straight life at all. You will find most “Christians” don’t and won’t live up to the world’s expectations. Part of the reason why the world is treating Christians with such disdain is because of the way that Christians are treating others that don’t live up to their standards or ideals.  I have little tolerance for intolerant “Christians”. Those that call themselves as such and shun, reject, judge and condemn are NOT “real” even in the least way. They don’t portray Christ at all and don’t really know the God I know.

Love endures all thingsHe is loving, accepting, full of grace, a friend, loves at all times, will not leave or forsake you no matter what. So, if we who believe in Him, are to be a reflection of Him, and mirror Him, we should do the same for others. Even still, no matter if they choose a gay lifestyle, Wicca beliefs or don’t believe in God at all, they still need to be accepted and loved, no matter what. That is a true friend, that is my God.

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Each person has a particular talent or calling of some sort. It is something you are drawn to, something that speaks to your soul, and just makes you feel super good when you perform that act, art or task. It’s a deep part of who you are. For an artist of what-ever medium if it is not done, you start loosing yourself bit by bit. Once lost, depression sets in and desperation sets in.

I am a musician and an artist of many many mediums. When I was a kid, my parents divorced about the time I really started digging into piano lessons. We had an up right piano that I totally loved playing. That piano got sold and lessons canceled permanently. I never really learned how to play professionally. The opportunity was totally lost. Divorce is awful and it destroyed my dream of piano on more than one occasion.

My own divorce with my first husband also destroyed my dream of becoming a professional musician. The message was ” what makes you any better than any other musician in Nashville?” shattered dreamsThat destroyed my was from my spouse. At the time, I had a contract I was working on as a solo artist, creating my very first album. Once my producer found out about my marital issues, he dropped me like a rock. I didn’t sing again in public for 10 years.

With my second marriage to an amazing man who was like a current day Motzart, I had hoped for that dream to come alive again. But with his cancer and selling off his equipment to pay our bills, all of his studio equipment, that dream once again was dashed. I have since then, been lost, literally lost. I have floundered around with doing various types of art, but not the one main gift that God gave me, music.

This last April, my family took a whim of a moment and visited Pastor Ted Haggard’s church St. James. Named after the truth of St. James, to live it before you preach it-be who you say you are.
It had been seven years since Ted left New Life Church. The kind of food for my spirit, that I received during the next few weekends at St. James made me realize I have been eating “processed cheese food” and it was awesome to finally get some REAL aged cheese. I guess you don’t know your spirit isn’t being fed..accept by the condition of your spirit. The fruit of my life was so rotten, and I knew I needed some spiritual nourishment. I just didn’t know how to find it. It was a “God thing”. Totally.

I’m proud to say that I’m now a part of the worship team at St. James and have not felt this kind of peace in my house in seven years. Funny how God works in sevens..huh! I have been in the word, felt more balanced and had more patience than I have in a very long time. Not sure where this path leads, but you know, I don’t need to know..cause I trust my Father.

I am happy to see more things come into alignment that has been erratic and chaotic for a long time now. My sleep is more in habit. I actually want to go to bed early now and get up to meet Him. I am reading the Word more often, praying with my kids more. And that is just the beginning..I can feel it. It’s nice to have everyone in the same room now without a single argument. I get way more done, my business is thriving and health has returned to my family.

My son who is 17 is seeking God’s peace and wisdom. He asked me yesterday,”Mom, how come I turned out better than other guys at school? I don’t drink, smoke, party or get into trouble?” It’s about God in our lives. Following Him does make a difference. Yes, there are “christians” that don’t walk the talk, and are horribly judgmental. Those people don’t really portray His true love. I call it “shallow Christianity” Turns my stomach even thinking about it. (Why I don’t call myself a christian but a God follower)

Back on the myself rambling…God never gives you a dream unless He has a specific purpose for your life. And it’s never ever in your own timing or your own ideas or even your own ways. It’s really all about HIM, His ways, His timing.  more god less me

“I must decrease so that He may increase..” John 3:30

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Defend Yourself from Hacking

wordpress-hackedI’m sure you’ve seen the news reports during the last 72+ hours about a “massive” “global” “distributed” brute force attack on WordPress systems.

Brute force attacks are ongoing, and this is simply an increase in frequency. To protect yourself, make sure all default accounts like “admin” have been deleted or renamed and that your passwords are very difficult to guess. A brute-force attack is a relatively unsophisticated attack where one or more remote machines try to guess your password.

The more successful attacks are attacks where a back-door known only to a hacker (a zero day vulnerability) is exploited to gain access to your system without logging in. The Timthumb vulnerability which I discovered and fixed last year is an example of this. I haven’t seen any reports of a new “zero day” vulnerability being exploited in this attack.

The nature of the attack does suggest that a large portion of the brute force attacks currently underway may be originating from an individual or a single group. If successful this will result in a single individual or group having access to a large distributed network of compromised WordPress servers on relatively high bandwidth links. They can then launch further attacks from this platform. However, whether the attacks are being orchestrated by one person or one group should not affect how you protect yourself.

In this case:

1. Make sure your “admin” account has been renamed.

2. Make sure all your passwords are difficult to guess.

3. Make sure you’ve disabled and deleted all unused themes and plugins.

Don’t be alarmed if you see an increased flow of login attempts on your Wordfence live traffic screen (The Logins and Logouts panel). As long as your passwords are hard to guess and you’ve removed the “admin” account, you’ll most likely be just fine. If you’re bored, you can manually block each malicious IP address using Wordfence, or even block the originating Networks. But I’m not doing this on my personal sites because I have strong passwords and no admin account.

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Pharma Hack

Update: Installed Wordfence by Bluehost and it worked some of it’s magic. Seems that one of my templates installed called “Bruce” was totally infected by a Trojan  And a few of my other plugins that were share tools had the hack infection.


So apparently  I have the Pharma Hack on my site. So if you share my content,..which is not recommended right now, you will see all the garble about Cialis and all the other drugs we despise hearing about in commercials.

I’m working on it. You won’t see a change from the blog posts, but it has really killed my traffic. I will share with you how it happened and what plugin initially caused the problem when I find it. This will take more of a learning experience..and about a week’s worth of database searching. Thanks to Go Daddy, though, they have added a JavaScript for me to find it back a courtesy to me. Thanks Go Daddy.

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The Passion

I encourage you to view all the videos in the stream.
Have you ever been a part of something big? I mean, really really big? Today is casting for The Thorn”. As a live action role play performance, this is an exciting month coming. I cannot express the enthusiasm I have for being a part of this incredible production. This is the best production I have ever been a part of. It’s not only in Colorado Springs, but also in Denver, Nashville, Seattle and Charleston. So this is not your stereo-typical Easter play. This is The Thorn, a large scale professional live action performance.

It has been a few years since I have been a part of The Thorn. I was Potiphar’s wife and costume designer for several cast teams. That launched me full force into the jewelry design world. The research that goes into authentic historical costume design was extremely important. If you are going to tell a story, do it with authenticity, yet creatively.

I have volunteered as a theatrical costumer, actress and dancer. I prefer costumer, but I am a musician and sing as well. My husband is a song writer and owns White Throne Productions, a recording, mix and master company. Did you know I play the traditional wood flute? This production takes a great deal of talent, cooperation, commitment, heart, soul and passion to pull off on a professional level in one month. Every cast member gives of their time and resources. Practices start out at two a week and accelerate to 3-4 depending upon your role.

If you would like to come see The Thorn for free, send me a message and I’ll let you know when that Exclusive performance is.

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