Fit and Over the Hill

modeling pinkI often get a ton of comments, either by admiration, or by concern, that I’m really thin.

I spent over 20 years from my youth with an eating disorder, got help, and learned alot about good nutrition that works for me and my body type.

Those that have known me for years just assume I’m still that disorder, but don’t know that maybe, just maybe, I figured out the formula for a fit body and high metabolism. You don’t have to be muscle bound to be fit.

A few things have challenged me through the last couple of years, like extreme home life stresses: marital, financial, health, kids, home business, etc.. But all in all, I have managed to do my homework to learn about what enzyms work together to help your body and health, and what things hurt it.

Many Americans have a really horrible diet. There is one thing that puts a barrier between me and that bad diet: an allergy to soy. Not just GMO, but ALLLLLL soy.  Even those hidden ingredients in women’s makeup like commercial glycerin and sodium hyaluronate that are both derived from soy. Magnesium Stearate (vitamin coatings) and Vitamin E(in cereals and vites) are both derived from soy.

With my adrenals fatigued..and a goiter that swells up from time to time, I had to do the research on things like synthroid and the alternative armour (both  synthetic and natural thyroid drugs) and what can I do to help my body heal itself. (God made us that way).

Note: for Thyroid repair, I started taking Glutathione. Find stuff about it here:

Our bodies have the ability to heal themselves..we just need to give it the tools and the right environment to do so.

Here is how I stay thin and with lots of energy(most of the time)..note here: extreme stress still knocks me down. Keep in mind I have a soy allergy and no gall bladder since 1999.

  1. Get 7-9 hours of sleep every day, and if I can’t do that at night, I nap during the day when my body crashes about 2 pm.
  2. Stretch and get exercise at least 3 times a week..anything from going to the gym, racquetball, run, what ever. Anything goes that brings your heart rate up for at least 15 minutes(stress not included here)
  3. Drink 8 oz of FILTERED water(if you can, infused with minerals and ph balanced) before bed..and immediately when you wake up. This helps flush your toxins from the day out as  you sleep, aids your kidneys and liver to clean you up at night and activates dormant organs in the morning for a bright, fresh and alive feeling physically and emotionally. We keep water filtering squeeze bottles by all of our bed sides so you don’t have to run downstairs to the kitchen if your thirsty at night.
  4. Avoid all preservatives. I’m allergic to soy..and it’s in almost all commercially and some organically made foods in America. So my diet is SOOO limited..but if forces me to cook more raw and natural foods, make my own bread and goodies and keep me from eatting junk and fast foods. (big weight gain issue with most people)
  5. I eat foods that work together with enzymes to work for each other and not against. Such as: eat greens and free range meats, and leave behind the carbs like potatoes for another meal. Ya, they are good, but when eating potatoes and steak together, you can cause an acidic reaction in your system and stifle digestion for both. If you have acid reflux when you eat red meats, ask yourself what your eating with and consider just eating greens with it.
  6. Eat Right for your blood type, some can eat just fish and vegan, but some blood types require those essential aminos from red meat. This is not a one size fits all world with body chemistry!
  7. I replaced all my oils with extra virgin coconut oil.(no gall bladder) I use it in my soaps, as body oil(most lotions are another source of soy topically) and to cook with. Even use it in my sushi.
  8. Eat only as much as you need to be satisfied, not more than that. If you eat every 2-3 hours about a fist full of food, you will keep your blood sugars up and turn your fat switch to high burn!
  9. You can’t get fat on fruits and if you have a serious gummy bear craving or salty snack attack like I do every so often, eat roasted nuts or drink mango tango or Green Goodness from Adwalla or Bolt gives you the healthy boost/kick and the sweet twang or salty punch you crave without the garbage attached.
  10. Cut out the gluten. Gluten is an enemy of your adrenals and pituitary gland. Gluten effects your hormones and can increase your cortisol hormones that may cause extra weight. Don’t believe me? Do your homework!
  11. Find an art form, a good book or listen to some great music, all those will reduce your cortisol and increase your serotonin levels in your brain.
  12. Eating grains is ok, just eat the right ones. And by all means, do organic when you possibly can afford it. Buying bulk from Whole Foods is way cheeper than pre-packaged grains. You can read up on chemical treatments of commercial grains in silos on the FDA site. I promise you will never eat commercial again!(maybe your not allergic to wheat, but the bromination process)
  13. Don’t do coffee, caffeine or carbonated drinks. Coffee is highly acidic and will throw off the ph in your body. Acidic body means fertile ground for cancer and other life threatening illnesses. Caffeine if taken too long in your life, will actually burn out your adrenals and cause you other issues. Adrenal glands control water balance in your body, your heart rate, your stress coping hormones and brain functions. Not to mention, it runs your thyroid. Many thyroid conditions are onset from adrenal fatigue, not the other way around. Carbonated drinks have phosphoric acid. Read more here. BAD STUFF. It can throw that ph off, retain unwanted water in your muscle tissues and actually increase your risk of heart disease. Just don’t.
  14. Did I mention sleep? Worth the double mention! That is the only time your body really really cleans, restores and repairs. So don’t neglect that!
  15. Cut out relationships that control, are codependent or are just unhealthy. I recommend the “Boundries” book series by Dr. Henry McCloud
  16. For a good fitness plan, try yoga. I have my own power yoga routine I’ve done since 1992 and has worked for my body type. It’s intense and keeps me limber. Find what works for you..and push yourself, challenge yourself to do harder repetitions so you don’t get bored.

Lastly, stop counting calories and weighing yourself and be happy with who you are, skinny, or over weight, just love yourself. You are your best friend. Be the best friend you always needed and wanted!

Think about these things..and you may find yourself living healthier, more productive and happier lives.

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Let it GO!

I have known God since I was 3..or as long as I can remember. But in the last 37 years I can remember, I have always remained under the stigma of what a “Christian” should look like.

Well, something happened, and I was once again, rejected by a christian leader because of an unexpected emotional overload I experienced recently. Expected more, I guess. Prayer? Support? Compassion?

Anyway, after a few days, and a lot calmer, I went to see Frozen the movie with my husband and my youngest daughter..and it spoke to me deeply.  I watched Elsa transform and forget her fear she had lived under for her who life. She was afraid to let her real self show because of the judgement others would have over her..and condemn her. I realized that is how I feel about what I love to do and the Christian community around me.

Elsa transformsI am an actress..but more than that, I’m a creative like Elsa! With a super power of my own.

I love wearing costumes and wings. Fairy wings, butterfly wings, bird wings, angel wings, you name it! And I love designing them! I have always wanted to feel what it’s like to fly. I love portraying amazing characters. It is how I express who I really am..extra ordinary! It is my gift.

Now, I don’t identify with those creatures..but I find it intensely fun to role play them. I spent years as a kid being punished for playing around..until I lost my imagination altogether. I became a work-a-holic and forgot how to have fun.

So here is my proclamation to the world around me..specifically my Christian friends. If you think I’m wacked..sorry, maybe I am, but I love LOVE what I do. If you think I need psychological help..well I think you do too!
I love role playing winged creatures..and if that bothers you, pray for me..but stay out of my path..cause, world, HERE I COME..AND I’M GONNA FLY!!! I’m not gonna pay attention to what they say anymore. I’m gonna LET IT GO!

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Not My Place

This weekend was a tough one. My middle child turned 15 years old. She didn’t ask for much, just some fun with nerf gun wars with our family, and a coconut cream pie instead of the traditional cake. We started “Nerf Assassin Wars” this Christmas thanks to my dearest friend Heather.

The hard part was my niece was with us for two days. She is a head strong 8 year old. Her Daddy is my half brother..and we didn’t grow up together, so our morals and values differ a bit. Discipline in our homes is different also. He is a product of my Dad’s military style up bringing. Not at all God focused, my Dad was a Marine Corp Sargent. All my brothers, being 10+ years older than me..really didn’t know me much. Many of them find them selves addicted to some type of substance. This particular brother has made something of himself, even through his mistakes and wild hairs(he loves the ladies).

He is a single Dad, working as a contractor for construction, roofing, etc. He does pretty well, but as every contractor knows, you have your tight spots when work is slow. So it’s feast or famine for him most of the time.

All in all, he is learning to be a better and better Father to my niece..but boundaries is a super hard subject to discuss with him. She is a bit spoiled. She hates discipline and rebels often. (**note here: have more than one child..raising a single child often creates a spoiled child that never learns compassion or generosity toward others. )

rebellious nieceThis weekend was tough with several rebellious instances, but I learned if I don’t allow her to argue, with a stern NO..and move on with my task or conversation..she won’t buck it. But there was one issue I think we had that really was hard for me as it is the backbone of our family health policies. “Eat your vegetables” brother specifically said to me before we took her home from Pueblo to our house in Colorado Springs, that he is not really high on giving her vegetables. This meant..he doesn’t really advocate it. He said it was due to all the chemicals they put on our vegies. organic?

Here is the interesting and most difficult for me to understand. He gives her soda. Wha? you know about chemicals on commercial vegies..but not chemicals in soda? So when it came time to have lunch and dinner, we always, always have vegies with every afternoon and evening meal. (My husband has cancer and I have thyroid issues) She sat and cried..and hid her face in her arms, folded on the table. At least she didn’t have a crying fit on the floor. Progress was made in the last few years, obviously.

Well, normally, any other child, especially in my house hold, would be FORCED to eat their vegies. But my brother specifically told me not to make her eat them. Yah, I are thinking what I am thinking. But here is the thing…..

She is not my child, niece yes, NOT my child.  As much as it pains me..her rules for life are set by her parents, that does not include me.

Yes, two bites are not alot to ask, but here it is again..he is the rule setter for her life, not me. So in respect for him as her father, I must respect what he has set down for her..or not set down, as it were. My kids understand that, so there were not some issues with them. I have explained the concept of good health if you eat vegies, and my 9 year old gets it. She still hates most vegies, but she gets it.

Many people, including my hubby, would debate on this as my niece is at our house, under our care, under our roof, staying with us, under our rules. But! I had to let go of that maternal need to control her life, to mother her, as it were. I had to say no to my flesh and accept the set of rules that her father put down for her. It doesn’t matter if I agree.

It’s about control..and letting go. I know that talking to my brother will be useless. He is stubborn..hence her stubborn behavior(she is like her Dad).

See, her behavior for disobedience is not JUST about getting away with it. There is a deep gap in her life since her mother left when she was little. She has holes in her heart and her spirit..and I’m not really a constant part of her life yet. So I don’t have a say..yet, for those things, no matter how strongly I believe in those principles for good diet and life. Her hole, is more important right now..and she needs to see she is safe with me first..then, later, we can influence her with good diet as she spends more time with us.

Letting go for now, opened up an opportunity to get past the glass wall around her heart. Nothing worth doing is EVER easy. Ever!

*Once again, I am thankful for my well behaved children and that they see how NOT to behave.

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Heart of the Matter

giving your heartGiving is often a hard definition. It is a matter of the heart. There are different types of love and giving and how it affects the heart of both parties.

Giving without sacrifice is really NOT a gift at all. It’s like a white elephant gift. It is recycled and composed of something you don’t want. Nothing was sacrificed. Therefore, the value of the gift was almost null.

Giving something..whether it’s monetary or of the heart (real love for instance) will require very important elements and the value is of the highest you can fathom. It will require a risk of being hurt and it will require you to give something YOU value or need. It comes from the soul.

diamond heartsThese types of gifts are often rare and the selfish human nature does not like or understand it. It takes courage and a great deal of love.

The type of gift, whether selfless or selfish, will determine your character. You can spot a selfish gift by the announcement of it being given so that attention will be brought to the giver. Where as a selfless gift will be given in secret and will require great sacrifice. There is also a risk of being hurt or rejected by the receiver, sometimes even miss understood. But take heart, and persevere.

A true gift of selfless love will take time. So be patient. Even if the world never finds out about your gift and sacrifice..that is OK. Because..God sees everything. And He loves a cheerful giver.

It’s like a parent watching their child be compassionate and loving toward a bully..It’s an amazing moment of joy for that parent. That is how He feels when He see’s us be a reflection of who He TRULY is. Selfless.

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Rebound Marriage

I thought I would share a little bit about me, my history and how it has changed me.

Eleven years ago, I married my current husband, Michael. (second marriage). When we started dating, I was passionately in Love with God.

**Side note: Two types of love: phileo and agape for those of you who are not familiar with the Most High God and an intimate relationship with Him.

At the time, I was also in the middle of a 3 year wait for finalizing a divorce with my first husband. God was beginning to work on my heart in forgiveness toward my to-be-ex-husband. We were beginning to become friends and work together more on sharing the kids, keeping them level in school and other family dynamics.

I was spending 4-5 days going to the World Prayer Center at New Life Church, Praying from 4-5am, watching the sun rise with my King and Lord. Such a precious time that was. Never, in being saved since I was 3 years old, did I ever experience such passionate affection for my God and King. I could plainly hear Him in my Spirit, smell the Spirit’s familiar scent of His presence and dialog with Him throughout the day.

Dating Days: Michael doing a sound check for a hotel event. The Kids and I came to visit him on his job.

Dating Days: Michael doing a sound check for a hotel event. The Kids and I came to visit him on his job.

But my flesh began to rise up..and the physical passion for Michael started to grow..and sin took over. I failed to fight temptation.

Now, no matter how intimate of a relationship you have with God, the enemy knows your weaknesses(usually fear and lust) and will use it to get his stinky foot in the door and try to destroy your relationship with God first..with sin. Then your family, your self esteem, your finances, your body and eventually kill you(His ultimate goal). It might be a tough battle, but the enemy never wins if you Love God, fyi.

Wedding Day

Wedding Day

Now, with that sin taking control, and being extremely co-dependent emotionally from years of childhood trauma, I bent and Michael and I decided to marry right away after the divorce was final. We could not bear to be without each other, and the passion was soothing to our hurting spirits, or so we thought. But there is always a price with sin. ALWAYS.

So what happens when you do something that God specifically says “NO” to? OMG..well, you better get ready for serious hardship. I went through an entire year of silence from God. That passionate connection, was lost. I read my bible, wept, prayed..and all the while, in the first year of our marriage, I was pregnant.

Michael had just been divorced too, but this was his second being his third wife. Both previous wives left him. His first, was before he was saved. He had a son with her, and Michael gave up rights to Christopher. He’s now in his twenties, I think. (I pray for him often).

Now, Michael and I used a scripture for our own benefit. Everytime a friend rebuttaled our decision, we used it. It was a horrible way to use scripture to justify sin. And the heart ache that God felt, was, I’m sure, painful. Here is an interesting perspective on what 1 Corinthians 7:9 means. See here..

"But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion." 1 Cor. 7:9

It was a long road, 11 years we have made it now. Through cancer, an eating disorder, illness, separation 3 times, almost divorced several times, and other sins that have tested our marriage.

Michael is not the perfect model, no one really is, but I made a commitment and I don’t like things unfinished, ever! Call me a control freak..but I just don’t like backing out of a decision, even if it is the wrong one, for the wrong reason.

Our friends, mentors, counselors, and family have all shunned us for one time or another for decisions we have made. Those hurts are hard ones to get over. BUT, Michael and I do love God deeply, with all of our hearts, and even though we have floundered a lot, we are still together. Now, I’m not sure if it is because we are super stubborn individuals, or because we want it to work or because God says He always has a way, or all the above. Maybe it’s because our friends said it won’t work, and we are rebellious..not exactly sure. But I know this. GOD HATES DIVORCE. And I believe, that even though we still struggle, we ARE going to make it. Love is a choice, sometimes. And the loves that last, often are not fluttery feeling like when you first fall in “love”.

Nothing, worth free, or easy. God gives us life, abundantly and FREE-ly. But!! There is a price..selflessness(hard as nails for a selfish human nature). This means, sometimes you have to do something you don’t understand. Sometimes, it means loosing all your friends because they don’t understand what is happening, or what you have been called to do, or they just lack faith that God is STILL on the throne and in control. (if you are one of these friends, prayer is often the only avenue you have to help someone who is making a “terrible” mistake)

Michael and I still fight..we still disagree, we still have serious emotional baggage to work through..but we are learning what TRUE friendship in marriage is. We are learning that there IS a way..even when we screw it all up! We are learning what acceptance is(working on that one now). We are learning we don’t have to agree, we don’t have to be right, we don’t have to be in control. Nope, it’s not His ULTIMATE will, what we did, but God always has a plan.

He likes to fix things..cause He knew, we’d screw things’s in our nature.

And it’s in His nature, to fix it.


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